Hello Friends! Jase here… Wanted to give our family and friends (the only ones who actually read this thing I assume) an update on how the RobertsForever squad is doing. What a year 2015 is turning out to be…. The Lord continues to bless us in ways we couldn’t have imagined and we are trying to reflect Him in all we do. Dallas is wonderful, could not ask for better friends and we feel so loved by our family both near and far away. Summer Girl is better than ever. She has not been swimming as much as she would like, but her daily exercise in the 100 degree Texas heat is getting almost all of here energy out (thank goodness). Blondie and I are doing well, I love my new job and we plan to move to a new apartment in September closer to work (for me) and church (for both of us). As I type this I find it difficult to transition into what we actually want to share. So here it goes….
In 2016 there will (we pray, but ultimately trust in the Lord’s plan) be another Roberts on this planet.
This unbelievably amazing super duper blessing brings us so much joy, but as I type I find it very difficult to not shed a tear, because this is our second child together.
In February we found out we were pregnant for the first time. We immediately prayed for God’s provision over our child and for us to have the strength to trust in His will– not ours. And His will indeed did not match up with what we had planned.
In March we went in for our first appointment to see our child and found out that we would not get to be their parents on this planet. They are waiting for us in Heaven, with Jesus.
Knowing our child is waiting for us brings us so much joy. They will never have to know pain, sadness or homework. They will not have to be hated or persecuted, will never know embarrassment. This makes us so happy. But now we won’t get to hold them, walk them through homework, defend them, watch them grow and someday raise babies of their own. I find it hard to say the words sometimes, we lost our child.
We struggled mightily with sharing this information on this blog (about both babies) because we now know the hurt and sickening pain associated with losing a child to miscarriage. We wanted to put it out there so that our community could be praying for us (please) and hopefully to help shine a little bit of a light on something that so many couples have to deal with.
I pray that this post does not bring sadness to anyone reading who is having a difficult time getting pregnant or who has lost a baby before. I pray that you feel so loved and that you know you are not alone. We would love to pray with you and talk to you at any time if you would like.
“My soul continually thinks of it and is bowed down within me. But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is thy faithfulness. “The Lord is my portion,” says my soul, “therefore I will hope in him.” Lamentations 3:20-23
We lost our first child together. We found ourselves questioning God, dreading telling our friends and family about it and not wanting to even think about it. We sat on the kitchen floor and cried. We understood for a brief second what true hardship was. We haven’t lived difficult lives by any means, but we would have given everything up for just one second of holding our baby. And we will never forget them. They are with Jesus now. Praise God for that. He knew this would happen long before any of us were here.
So, that was March 20th 2015. A date that is forever burned into our minds. Since then we have been on the emotional roller coaster called life and we have made it through solely by the grace of Jesus Christ. Jesus never once tells us it will be easy. He gives each of us a cross to bear daily and it’s hard, really hard. It reminds me of Matthew 7:24-27:
Jesus tells us the story about the two men who built their houses on two different types of ground: one on the soft sand (relying on the world) and one on the strong rock (relying on Jesus Christ)… Here’s the deal though. BOTH houses get hit by the storm.
Our house was hit in March but praise the Lord for giving us the strength to get through. We trust in His perfect plan and we know that He will continue to give us the storms that He knows we can handle. We know that He LOVES our first child, just like He LOVES our second. His plan is far greater than anything we could every fathom.
“We know that in everything God works for good with those who love him, who are called according to His purpose.”
In May we found out we were pregnant with our second baby. What a beautiful thing it is to see my wife ugly crying out of JOY for the first time since February. We don’t feel like we deserve these beautiful children from God…. But we know that He will be there every step of the way no matter what comes at us.
People who don’t know Jesus ask me all the time, “how can you believe in a God who gives CANCER and kills BABIES?” And I think it’s hard to sum up briefly, but I do know this:
I believe in a God that is all powerful and I live in a world that is dark and broken, that rejects Him in all it does. But He rewards my faith with a promise- not that it will be easy, but that it will be WORTH IT. Or as Paul said,
“I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.” Romans 8:18
Thank you for taking the time to read this. We pray that it somehow, someway, brings you closer to the Lord.
I do want to mention how hard this is for my beautiful bride. Nothing fills a man’s heart with sorrow like seeing his other half hurting and not being able to stop it. She is so strong. She inspires me to want to be a better person. She gives me the strength to keep typing these words because she has been so brave all year. She is my rock. She will be the best momma ever. This kid will have the cleanest teeth ever and a mom that would do anything for him/her. I am the luckiest guy in the world.
Please feel free to email / facebook message us if you want to chat. We’d love to catch up with you.
Thank you for loving us. We will keep y’all posted. We hope you join us in choosing to hope in Him in all things.
“My soul continually thinks of it and is bowed down within me. But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is thy faithfulness. “The Lord is my portion,” says my soul, “therefore I will hope in him.“”